5 Ways I Don’t Fit INFP Stereotypes

Guest Post by Alyssa, INFP

I have always been a very self-aware individual. I know my strengths, weaknesses, emotions and thought processes extremely well, and I’m comfortable with who I am. I already KNOW that I’m a walking paradox. I’m a dreamer and yet I’m practical, I’m creative yet analytical, I love art and excel creatively, but I’m also a maths genius. I’m social yet shy, hard-working but a procrastinator, and organized but messy. There has never been a doubt that I am very much an INFP; however, these little contradictions between me and a stereotypical INFP used to concern me. This was before I realized that MBTI is about the way in which we think, not our personalities. Every person is going to have contradictions and conflicting qualities or tendencies, and that’s okay! That’s what makes us unique and human!

That being said, here are five ways in which I do NOT fit the INFP stereotype (in contrast to the many, many ways in which I do).

ISTJs Put Simply

Guest post by Sylver, ISTP

In my project to make known the good and bad sides of every MBTI type, it’s been suggested that I start with ISTJs. A lot of people, even if they don’t say negative things outright, will ignore or turn up their noses at ISTJs online. Also, as it’s been pointed out, many ISTJs will take and retake the test until they get something other than ISTJ, just because of the stigmas attached to ISTJ-ness.

Part of this has to do with the (mis)conceptions about their type that I will debunk here. Please note, of course, that some of the things I will say may not ring true for every single ISTJ out there. Most are based on knowledge of their functions and personal experience. So do feel free to correct me if I’m wrong; most of this is just stuff that I have observed/experienced when dealing with ISTJs.

ISTJs (USUALLY) are:

  • rooted in the past
  • down to earth
  • planers
  • possessed with incredible follow-through
  • caring
  • dutiful

ISTJs are NOT (usually):

  • stubborn for no reason
  • whiny
  • OCD
  • rule-obsessed
  • socially awkward (any more than other types can be)
  • Or, of course…evil

So without further ado, let me expand on how ISTJs work function-wise. My personal favourite thing about them, for a start, is their rich and vivid memories. I experience life through my Ti and Se (Dom and aux respectively), and though I can often remember things I’ve learned for a long time afterwards I have great difficulty remembering the actual experience because I’m instinctively keyed into the present moment. Always moving on, as it were. As Si-doms, ISTJs often have incredible recall of past events. My Mother, for example, is most likely an ISTJ, and whenever I have trouble recalling an old event I’ll call her up and she’ll readily remind me about what happened.

Si-doms are typically great sources of do’s and don’ts, especially the older ones. Any artist/writer/screenwriter/painter should be able to appreciate the opportunities that come with all those memories and stories. Provided, of course, you’re respectful and the ISTJ in question is willing to chat about things that may or may not bring back intense memories.

The ISTJ’s auxiliary function is, of course, Te. This gives them a natural edge when it comes to managing and coordinating, which I appreciate a lot. When it comes to larger projects ISTJs are pro at making sure they (fairly) divvy up the workload. They also––sorry, Arvid––tend to have an advantage, even over INTJs, when it comes to making sure that no details get overlooked. That’s not to say that INTJs don’t also do everything they can to make sure that their project turns out just the way they visualize it. ISTJs are just more naturally detail-oriented.

Fi is a function that…well, it doesn’t seem to get the right type of love in the MBTI community. By that, I mean that people––especially on tumblr––tend to value/admire Fi for the rebelliousness that ALL Fi users exhibit. /sarcasm/

I really like mature Fi users, don’t get me wrong. They know what they’re feeling and, especially in the case of Fi users who also use Te, will do their best to communicate what they need. That’s a genuinely valuable ability. I always appreciate my Mom’s way of telling me things, for example. I’m not hugely touchy-feely, and she isn’t either, so when she needed alone time she would just say something along the lines of, ‘I’m getting a beer, then I’m going upstairs to read. You need anything?’

That right there is the heart of how an ISTJ cares for their people. Making sure they’re okay by doing what they need to do to help. As an action-oriented person I sure as hell appreciate that.

Finally, there’s that inferior Ne. It bears talking about, as does any other type’s inferior function. We all need to know our weaknesses or we’d all crumble from clay feet, a friend of mine once put it.

An ISTJ’s Ne isn’t going to be all that plain. As with INTJs and Se or ISTPs and Fe, it’ll sorta be in the background, still utilized but typically unnoticed. When it does come to the forefront (so to speak) due to stress, it often trips up the ISTJ in question. They begin to catastrophize and freak out about all the things that could happen; during times like these, they focus almost exclusively on the negative outcomes and need a helping hand/mind to get back on track.

Like any instance where an inferior function crops up in this way, an ISTJ’s inferior Ne can be extremely annoying for both them and for others. Part of the package, though.

Besides, a healthy and mature ISTJ can make the most of their Ne’s idiosyncrasies. My dear friend, for example, will usually be the first person to get on my tuchus about things I’ve been unable to get to (read: procrastinated), yet she’ll also be perfectly willing to tag along with me to get lunch out or go to Half-Price Books together. Provided we’ve got ourselves in order, of course.

Overall, ISTJs can be a little stubborn, but they can also be the wisest, fairest, and most trustworthy people you’ve ever met. They may not be the most popular or ‘romantic’ or ‘trendsetting’ of the MBTI types, yet that’s nothing to be ashamed of. If the entire human race were daredevil ISTPs like me, we wouldn’t have survived till now, I guarantee it.

Joking, of course. I’d like to think that ISTPs do have some modicum of self-control! :P

Recognizing Unhealthy/Healthy Types

Grahamcracker asked: How would you identify when someone is unhealthy for their personality type?

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The tell-tale sign of an unhealthy type is that they will embody the stereotypes.

Well-developed thinking types will make decisions based on both logic and emotion and vice versa for feeling types. A healthy individual is well balanced between their four functions, relying on all of them interacting between one another to live their life.

Another classic tell is whether or not the person manipulates people. Unhealthy thinking types often disregard other people’s feelings and use “logic” or “just being honest” as an excuse for bad behaviour. Unfortunately, this means that thinking types can also be extremely good at gaslighting. Meanwhile, unhealthy feeling types often have a tendency to rely on emotional appeals such as guilting, projection, and triangulation, as a way to control other people’s behaviour. This is all stuff that any therapist will tell you is toxic (both for you and for other people).

Grahamcracker asked: And how would you know if someone was well-developed in all four?

Want to know how to find yourself a keeper? While I can’t guarantee you’ll cross paths or have success connecting with said keeper, I’ll offer a modicum of advice on how to identify healthy MBTI types.

First and foremost––this person does not manipulate people, especially not intentionally. Second, you’ll see them making decisions based on more than just logic, or emotion alone. They’ll use a balance of both. You see their better self, a healthy person who knows what is important, plays well with others, and is neither overly insecure or overly self-important. To be balanced, to make good decisions, and to be a good partner in a relationship, you need to be as emotionally healthy as possible, and that means using all your functions.

I’m tired so I will not go into these in-depth, but you can get the general gist by combining the cognitive functions that make up your type.

Healthy Fe-Ti: caring about other people’s feelings and preservation, while also being able to step back and analyze something objectively, to learn how it works so that you can improve your relationships.

Healthy Te-Fi: being motivated to organize things and adhere to logical principles, while being aware that politeness is a useful tool in life and that not everything needs to be said, while holding to a strong set of moral principles.

Healthy Ti-Fe: staying focused on logical objectives, but also softening one’s words to avoid hurting other people’s feelings or alienating others in attempt to work toward a greater purpose that benefits everyone.

Healthy Fi-Te: championing causes and inspiring others to follow your lead, while remaining true to your beliefs but also enabling others to have different values systems from your own, and organizing your time and space effectively to accomplish your goals.

Healthy Si-Ne: bring valuable information to the table through things you have learned and your own experiences, but accept that your memories are subjective interpretations of events and that considering new avenues of possibilities is not a threat to your usual routines.

Healthy Se-Ni: staying open to both participating in new experiences and helping others to see opportunities around them, while realizing that there is more to life than just this moment, and all actions in the present have future consequences.

Healthy Ne-Si: entertaining many possibilities but also remembering past experience, learning from the mistakes of others, and seeking out extensive details, so as to make wise decisions.

Healthy Ni-Se: visualizing goals and discerning how to reach them, while also being unafraid to take opportunities as they appear, thus avoiding staying too much inside the mind and seeing their ideas implemented in the real world.

Pursuing Goals: Ni vs Ne

Guest post by whatisfreethen, INTP

Ni may be able to follow a single idea to completion, it wouldn’t be fair to say that Ne’s can’t. It’s just that Ne ideas tend to be either more short term or fantastical than Ni. Also if an Ne can’t immediately execute an idea, it tends to get overcrowded by a flood of new ideas and never gets reconsidered. Or it tends to build up and become even more implausible than it was.

INTJ friend: So, what have you thought about writing that book together?

Me: How about one of us leans an animating software, and one learns sound effects, get some voice actors, and instead we make an animated movie?

Him: Maybe I’ll just write it myself. Continue reading

Let’s be Real: One INFJ to the Rest of Mankind

Guest post by Heather, INFJ

I’d like not only to dispel some of the myth and mist surrounding the INFJ legend today, but to cast some light and provide some entertainment as well. There are some frequently repeated assumptions (aka stereotypes) regarding INFJs that have been circulating internet-land for years. These legends affect non-INFJs, it’s true, but they also have a tendency to inform INFJs’ opinions of themselves. It’s the power of suggestion. Particularly when there is a grain of truth to a stereotype, it is both easy and agreeable to say, “oh yes, that’s me,” so long as the stereotype is positive or comical or gives us an excuse for our bad habits.

One of these assumptions that INFJs love to claim for their own is being psychic, otherworldly narwhalicorns. It’s kind of an attractive idea to have about oneself. Particularly when one has felt like something of an alien amongst other humans for most of one’s life, and when one is actually quite clever at reading people. So, let’s be real: INFJs very often know a substantial amount of information about you that they don’t let on to, because first and foremost, they want you to be comfortable with them. No one feels very comfortable if they think you’re aware of their motivations and inner life. So then, where did this mysterious cache of information come from, you may ask. First, INFJs are simply very attuned to people in general. Se is our inferior function, but it is still a function. Because we are sort of ‘set’ to the people wavelength, that is the information we tend to pick up a lot of. This information is fed into our Ni (dominant function), which recognizes patterns and themes and can extrapolate accurate readings based on very little data. Add to this that I at least (sorry guys, I don’t know any INFJs in real life besides myself) amuse myself by studying personality theory, graphology, and Chinese face reading so that I can know even more about every specimen that crosses my path unsuspectingly. Continue reading

Defying INTJ Stereotypes: Anon

Guest post by Anonymous, INTJ

I’m artistic.

To a fault, I admit. Ever since I was a child I’d either be playing mind-games or writing, drawing, or outwardly narrating a story. When I was in first to third grade, we had to keep journals. The teacher would put up a prompt (Ex: Do you have any pets?) and we had to write a few sentences about it. I thought this was boring, so I asked the teacher if I could just write, and she allowed me to. So, for the next three years, I would develop new little stories and illustrations to accompany them.

I was obsessed with drawing, back then, too. I’ve always been told I’m creative and a good artist, even though I’d like to think the comments didn’t affect me, I think they’re why I began to do it more often. That, or boredom. I still think it’s more of boredom. So, now I’m, as far as I’ve seen, the most experienced artist I know. I don’t even really like it. It’s passive. It just happens.

I have a large group of friends.

Continue reading

N-types are not better than S-types.

Shubham (ENTP) asked: I have observed that some of my friends who are S types retake the MBTI test again and again to get a N type.eg- one of my ISTJ friend took the test almost 5 times and got INTJ once. Now whenever he meets someone he claims to be an INTJ, although he is completely an ISTJ.

I have observed this behaviour with many of my S type friends (specially ISTPs and ISFPs who sometimes claim to be ENFPs.). I personally think that there is no reason one should change their personality type or start behaving like some other type. I think that this is a result of stereotyping of Ns being better than Ss.

Have you observed a similar behaviour anytime? What is your hypothesis on why some Ss want to be typed as Ns.

Yes. Yes, I have.

The internet, and many fandoms seem to have convinced themselves that INTJs are…for some reason…the best MBTI type ever. There is no logical reason to believe that INTJs are somehow better than other types, and there are even fewer logical reasons to try to become an INTJ if you are not one. Continue reading

How to Test Accurately

MMR asked: The whole Myer-Briggs Theory is interesting but how does one know if it is accurate. I have taken the test multiple times over the past year to be sure of my type. I was typed each time as an INTJ; I however am afraid I am being biased, trying to be original, or just answering the same way from memory. In reading the other types it is easy to find small traits to identify with in all INxx types. I strongly agree with most typing a for INTJ and feel, if I can say that, that it is my personality type. Wanting to be sure, my question to you is, how does one know if they are being biased when typing themselves?

That’s a good question, and one that I can’t teach you the answer to. I can however, give you a starting place to learn from.

  • Do your answers to the questions match up with your behaviour?
  • In other words, are you answering questions about who you are, rather than who you’d like to be?
  • Do you fully understand the question that is being asked?
  • Are you answering ‘yes’ on questions that only occasionally apply to you?

In general –and I have stressed this time and time again– I suggest not trusting the test as your guide to MBTI. READ. LEARN. INTROSPECT. That is the only way to know yourself.

Youthful Reactions to Unwanted Authority

“Can you do a brief overview of how the types would react to authority as kids/teens? Pretty please? :) “

Obviously, I will take the opportunity to exaggerate this extensively.

ESTJ

We’ll keep your rules, but don’t give us any extra work. Continue reading

MBTI School Subject Stereotypes

“Could you do some of the stereotypical school subjects each type might be likely to have interest in?”

ENTJ: business, law

INTJ: chemistry, physics

ENTP: computer science

INTP: philosophy, maths Continue reading

ISTJ Stereotypes in “The Imitation Game”

ISTJ Stereotypes in

ISTJs are frequently stereotyped as whining, OCD, rule-obsessed intellectuals with no social skills. Either that, or they’re portrayed as evil, emotionless cyborgs with no sense of humour. As someone with a close ISTJ friend, I understand exactly how terrible those stereotypes can be on a person. Unfortunately, such stereotypes are ever present in the media, and have found their way needlessly into the recent film, The Imitation Game. Continue reading

On Differing from INTJ stereotypes

INTJ: How I Differ from the Stereotypes

Surely, you’ve looked at the personality description for your Meyers-Briggs type at one point and thought, “that’s not me. I don’t do those things.”

Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I can’t tell you how many times I look at the INTJ stereotypes and think to myself, “How can anyone assume that you must be exactly the same as all other people who share your type?” Continue reading

Antisocial Extraverts & Social Introverts

“Hi, I’ve taken the test a lot and I always get typed ESTJ, but I don’t feel like an extravert because I don’t always want to be with people. At the same time, everyone I’ve asked tells me I communicate like a total extravert. Could I be a mix between ISTJ and ESTJ?”

Not likely. My advice to you would be to learn more about the functions and determine your type based on that rather than any of the MBTI tests. The tests can be rather inaccurate because a lot of the questions are interpretively ambiguous.

Antisocial Extraverts

Remember Mycroft? Whom I retyped from ISTJ to ESTJ a while back? (based on the functions). He’s what you might call and antisocial extravert. His cognitive functions work in the order of an ESTJ, but he doesn’t necessarily need to be around people to get Continue reading