Canonical INxJ Friendships

Anonymouslemer asked: “Are there any canonical examples of an INTJ/INFJ friendship?”

Look no further than House M.D. House and Wilson are a perfect example of a relationship between unhealthy INxJs. Let’s just say they’re the type of friend-pair that will feel perfectly comfortable sitting and problem solving in a room with a random comatose grandpa that they’ve never met. They both toss around Ni, understanding each other’s deepest motivations and secrets without having to ask. Both of them are gifted at figuring out other people’s deepest secrets, but House does i Continue reading

Se-users: Do you talk with your Hands?

ComradeJocasta asked: Is it possible that upper-Se users might be more likely to gesture a lot when they speak?

I haven’t actually found much research on this topic. However, I’ve given it a bit of thought, and I’d like to hear everyone else’s thoughts as well.

My ESFP brother definitely is NOT a hand talker. However, he does have a strong need for touch and physical contact with people he’s comfortable around. Same goes for my ISFP room-mate.

Out of anyone in my family or friend group, I’m actually the one who talks most via my hands. However, I don’t necessarily attribute this to my Se function so much as to the fact that I’m relatively fluent in Sign Language. Before I learned Sign Language, I didn’t gesture at all when I spoke, but now talking and gesturing practically go hand in hand for me (wow, that was a terrible pun).

It’s the same with any language. As soon as you’re fluent in more than one language, and especially if you know more than two, it’s hard to force yourself not to blend the elements of each. At the same time, you also keep many elements very separate as well (for instance, I swear a lot more in German than I do in English).

Upper Se-users. Now is your time to talk! I’m interested to hear whether you talk with your hands.

INTJs: Uncomfortable with your Inferior Function?

Pasa Fino asked: I have a question which regards Se in a social setting. (I am an INTJ btw). This and the other Se post were helpful in a general sense, but here is a problem I personally encounter.

Whenever I am around people I don’t know well or consider as a friend, I behave in the way I am most comfortable with: distant, observant, serious, quiet, etc.. but when I am with the few people I consider my friends my Se seems to take over my brain in a most distressing manner. I begin to goof off, talk loudly, I become quirky and playful, and overall, much unlike myself. I go home feeling like a total fool. The worst thing about it is that I have little to no control over this while it is happening.

Otherwise, I integrate my Se via art, music, karate, and watching comedies on YouTube, and can control it decently well when I am in my normal environment or interacting with friends over the internet.

I am in my late teens, so I am hoping that in my twenties my Se will be somewhat tamer. Has anyone else encountered this problem? If so, is there a solution for an immediate solution for it?

#1 Yes, many INTJs experiences this:

In order to illustrate to you and others, that discomfort with the Se function is not something that any of us are alone on, I’m going to share an experience that is deeply personal to me. This is not just for you, Pasa Fino (though it is for you), but for all the people out there who may be struggling to connect with the more frightening, more human parts of themselves. Continue reading

N-types are not better than S-types.

Shubham (ENTP) asked: I have observed that some of my friends who are S types retake the MBTI test again and again to get a N one of my ISTJ friend took the test almost 5 times and got INTJ once. Now whenever he meets someone he claims to be an INTJ, although he is completely an ISTJ.

I have observed this behaviour with many of my S type friends (specially ISTPs and ISFPs who sometimes claim to be ENFPs.). I personally think that there is no reason one should change their personality type or start behaving like some other type. I think that this is a result of stereotyping of Ns being better than Ss.

Have you observed a similar behaviour anytime? What is your hypothesis on why some Ss want to be typed as Ns.

Yes. Yes, I have.

The internet, and many fandoms seem to have convinced themselves that INTJs are…for some reason…the best MBTI type ever. There is no logical reason to believe that INTJs are somehow better than other types, and there are even fewer logical reasons to try to become an INTJ if you are not one. Continue reading

What to Do When you can’t hear an INTJ’s Sarcastic remarks

Curious asked: One of the people I talk to the most at school is (I believe) an INTJ. She’s lovely, and I’m very glad that she takes the time to interact with me. We usually sit near each other, and sometimes pass comments in class (mostly me because I’m an idiot and impulsive).

But sometimes, when she initiates, she speaks lowly, so I know she’s saying something, but I can’t make it out. I usually just nod or give a smile because I can tell she was trying to say something cheeky or low-key scathing about whatever is happening in class, but I know that we both can tell when we don’t hear each other. It’s not a big thing, but I was wondering if you could give an opinion on how you would want me to handle it– because it really eats me up with guilt that she says something and I can’t give her a response.

The answer to your question is so obvious that I don’t blame you for not thinking of it.

The first thing to know is this: INTJs with a working Te function appreciate direct communication. If someone hates something that I do –I want them to tell me about it. I may not change my habits when they do, but I want them to tell me about it.

My Te function doesn’t care about all the social conventions that tell you don’t say that, it’s rude. (Though my Fi function does listen to the don’t say that, it’s unkind). The point is, when somebody doesn’t know what I’m talking about –whether it’s because I’m talking gibberish, talking above their heads, or talking too quietly for them to hear– I want them to tell me about it directly.

So…tell her upfront that you can’t hear her. If she wants you to hear her, she’ll speak up.

Why You should Stop Saying you were “Traumatized” by a TV Show

Why you should Stop Saying you were Traumatised by a TV show...

Anon asked: “You’re the first MBTI expert I’ve come across who’s typed the characters from Unsere Mütter, Unsere Väter, and since you’re an INTJ, I must know. Were you emotionally traumatized the first time you watched it?”

Continue reading