No, not all INTJs, or even most, are. (That was an embarrassing quantity of commas).
Once again, there is a stereotype going around. A large number of people have latched on to the idea that INTJs are asexual, or at least lacking in sexual motivation. In reality, however, this isn’t true of most INTJs.
As a mental visual, I’ve compiled for you a list of INTJs, organised by their sexual orientation. You might have to pay really close attention to notice, but in this list, the number of straight INTJs far exceeds that of asexual INTJs.
Ace: Nikola Tesla, Susan Sto Helit, Ender Wiggin, Sherlock, 4th Doctor, 12th Doctor…
Gay: Thomas Barrow
Straight: Alec Hardy, Flannery O’Connor, John Nash, Percy Toplis, Stephen Hawking, Arvid (Swing kids), Bruce Wayne, Jane Austen, Cauis Marcius Coriolanus, David Tennant, Wednesday Adams, Steve Jobs, Ralph Waldo Emerson…
Not Sure: Hamlet, Iago (Othello)…
However, I will agree that the proportion of asexuality is much higher in the fictional INTJ community than it is in most other MBTI types. One major reason for this is that the real-life Ace community does happen to be largely dominated by INTJs (need an example? take a look at this poll).
People have taken this fact and incorrectly assumed that it works conversely, thinking that if most asexuals are INTJs, most INTJs must also be asexual. Unfortunately, this doesn’t exactly work out quite as logically as they think it does.
While many asexuals are INTJs, the INTJ community ranges all over the spectrum of sexual orientation.
Asexuality as a marketing device in Media
There are a number of screenwriters (Moffat, for instance) who have figured out that it pays off to design an asexual character and then drop occasional hints for people to believe they’re either straight or gay without ever actually confirming anything.
They understand that the mass market is comprised of allosexual people (non-asexuals) who crave sexuality in media. As a result, they take advantage of asexuality as a means of creating an ambiguous sexual orientation to cater to a wider audience. People latch onto any hint of sexuality they get from ambiguously oriented characters because they want to believe that character is somehow part of their own sexual orientation.
It’s a great way for screenwriters to market their media to a variety of people rather than excluding minorities on the basis of their sexual orientation.
Take Sherlock for instance – any scene where he does anything remotely sexual is not real. It’s either part of a fan theory about how he survived the Reichenbach fall, or it’s Sherlock pretending to be sexually interested in someone as part of a case (he does this with both Irene Adler and Janine). People latch onto these hints, subconsciously exaggerate them and then forget that nothing actually happened.
The media designers often use similar rhetorical strategies with homosexual characters such as Thomas from Downton Abbey. Throughout the entire show, the audience is constantly thinking, “Thomas needs a boyfriend. Somebody new come in so that he can have some happiness.”
Meanwhile, the screenwriter behind the scenes is smirking. “Exactly. You’ll keep watching my show as long as you’re still waiting for that boyfriend to come along. So, no. Thomas doesn’t get a boyfriend. I think I’ll let someone new court Mary.”
Asexuality wouldn’t work as a plot-device if the screenwriters didn’t give their fans something unreal to hold onto. They take advantage of the fact that most people just expect a character to be sexual and then exploit it by withholding sexuality from them for the longest point possible.
INTJs tend to be fetishized alongside asexuality, partially because of this marketing technique. Screenwriters further understand that people are attracted to puzzles and mystery, and because INTJs are by definition, a mystery to most people, they use INTJs as a marketing strategy as well.
Quite frequently, the two (asexuality and INTJs) get meshed together in the media.
P.S. Yes, I will two a couple of example posts (if you have any particular requests from the list above, please send them in by the end of this week. If not, I will pick the ones I’m most familiar with).
5 thoughts on “Are INTJs Asexual?”
I know this is a bit old, but as a very affectionate INFP asexual, I think that oftentimes (some) people think that sexual attraction= physical affection and that all asexuals see s3x/ romance as an “irrational” thing. So my (pan) INTJ friend who tends to show affection by sharing knowledge and talking about her interests is often mistaken for ace but I am almost always asked if I have crush on the vast majority of my friends because I love to cuddle with them (their cold, sad exteriors usually melt if you hug them). And no asexual I know thinks s3x is irrational or looks down on people who enjoy it. Personally, I sometimes wish I could so I knew why people choose to get married and such. Thoughts?
Hey there, my question is not really related to MBTI. How would you define sexual attraction? I’m trying to figure out if I am asexual but figuring out if I don’t have something (sexual attraction) is very difficult, as I am not really sure what that certain thing is. I’ve tried asking sexual people but “you want to have sex with that person” isn’t a very helpful description at all.
Sorry for my horrible English.
Asking another asexual to define sexual attraction probably isn’t your best bet. I honestly have no idea what it is, except when I SEE it happening in another person (if I notice at all, that is).
Hey, I don’t know if you still want an answer to this problem, but coming from my own problem with “sexual attraction” (and yes I was personally confused as an INTJ as well) I though you might want the perspective from some one who is allosexual. Basically for me, for a very long time, not until the late high school years was I even interest in the idea of sex. And even now I find myself not caring for relationships or losing my virginity (though this particular part is affected by a lot of factors), but that is mostly because my life is concerned with succeeding in obtaining my “dream job” not becoming a mother. In fact I don’t plan on exploring relationships until after my goal is sure to succeed (though I am well aware that I cannot control all factors of my life).
As for the actual question, I wouldn’t say “you want to have sex with that person” is an accurate determination. I guess a better example would be, more like you have an absence of sexual interest for anything. Granted again, for met it took me till the end of my high school years for me to be even remotely interested in sex/relationships so if you have no interest now you may or may never have such an interest. One thing to definitely keep in mind is that asexuality does not necessarily mean one is unable to be attracted to someone’s physical appearance, or find someone attractive. They simply care not for the more “physical” parts of a relationship, if they care for a relationship at all.
Thanks for your contribution, and yes, I’m always interested in the perspectives of allosexual people!
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