Why You should Stop Saying you were “Traumatized” by a TV Show

Why you should Stop Saying you were Traumatised by a TV show...

Anon asked: “You’re the first MBTI expert I’ve come across who’s typed the characters from Unsere Mütter, Unsere Väter, and since you’re an INTJ, I must know. Were you emotionally traumatized the first time you watched it?”

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The Epitome of ISTP Humour

I stumbled across while typing a request.

Skip to about 2:30 for a full dose of real-life ISTP prankster.

This is Not & Will Never Be a Flirting Advice Blog

Hanswerner asked: I’m an INTJ, and I was wondering if you had any experience or advice on how to talk to girls. I’m terrified of talking to girls that have crushes on and every time I try to flirt I make a fool of myself

I’m willing to give advice on almost everything. However –and that’s a big however– I do not, and will probably never be qualified to give dating/flirting/sexual relationship advice to sexual people.

So let’s get one thing straight (pun intended). I’m asexual and romantically attracted to—you guessed it—not women. I wouldn’t stress this so highly except that I just read three similarly focused questions in my inbox.

In anticipation of all the open-minded folk who will have questions about this, I’m going to introduce a New Q&A Contest next week (similar to the last one) focused around this topic. Ask away in the comments below and I will feature your questions in the contest (and keep it respectful).

On that amusing note, I’d also like to extend a welcome to all the heterosexual male identifying INTJs lurking nearby. Please help @Hanswerner out by replying in the comments below.

 

 

xNTJs with ADHD

Amanda asked: I read your post on traumatized INTJ, which I most certainly have been. I feel I was dead inside until I developed my Fi to be a good mommy to my sweet baby boy (who is now working on his PhD). I have also endured Attention Deficit Disorder most of my life. I have read in an ADHD book “Scattered” (Gabor Mate MD) that ADD can be properly understood as a dissociative condition and ADHD as an attachment/anxiety condition. Basically, trauma responses.  I took medication for ADD for a few years, recently. The beneficial effects on my life were profound, and some of them were permanent. I’ve only recently become more interested in MBTI, and I think ADD is pretty ironic in relationship to my being a J. I’m a J, but the part of my brain that can ‘do’ J, the prefrontal cortex, was more or less off-line, forcing me to live the life of a P! It’s as if ADD made me a failed INTJ. Not quite the shadow perhaps, as I’m a solid introvert. I was just curious if you’d ever thought of MBTI in relationship to this disorder, or perhaps any of the cluster B personality disorders. (Which I don’t have, but Cluster Bs were the origin of my trauma.)

Several semesters ago, I had an English professor who is an ENTJ with ADHD, and it was a thrill for me to be a part of her class. Here are my thoughts.

Being an xNTJ will likely determine how you think about things. ADD/ADHD will not necessarily change that thought process, but it will definitely interrupt it. What I typically observe happening as a result is that you will come to conclusions the same way that most other xNTJs would, but while you are coming to those conclusions, you will be distracted by other things that wouldn’t necessarily distract INTJs who don’t have ADD/ADHD.

As a result, your behaviour may be different than the behaviour of other INTJs, specifically with regards to your Te and Se functions. Your NiTe ability to focus will be different. You will always have your eyes on your Ni goal, but your Te may not necessarily keep you consistently working towards it. Your Se may be more easily distracted by things in your physical environment. etc. etc.

I know this was brief, but I hope it answered your question.

 

Character Driven vs Plot Driven Stories – An INTJ’s Take

INeverForgetPromises asked: if you were reading a literary work, what would hook you more, a plot-driven story or a character-driven story? Do you prefer complex plots with subplots in them or a simple plot with something deep underneath (take hills like white elephants for example)?

Im sorry if I’m asking too many questions, its just that I want to pick at your brain a little bit. Plus, you kinda remind me of my INTJ best friend :)

I personally prefer character driven stories. However, any well-done character driven story is subsequently going to have an excellent plot. It may not follow a typical arc, but as long as the characters behave realistically, the plot is also going to move forward in a realistically.

If you look at any piece of Shakespeare’s work, you’ll realise that every last bit of it is character driven. His plots are fantastic, but they are always driven by the motivations of his characters.

The Ender’s Game Series is another good example of a character driven storyline in which there is no absence of complex plots and subplots. I could think of a million other examples, but I’ll leave it at that.

Any story that has an interesting and well developed character who is facing a very real conflict will necessarily end up having both an amazing plot.

Now, I enjoy a story with an intricate plot, but if the characters are boring the story becomes empty. I get bored reading Dan Brown because his writing features incredibly complicated plots with hardly any character development.

Do INTJs like INFPs?

Sofia V.N. asked: Hi I am and INFP and there is this really interesting INTJ named Katie at my school and my close friend Shannon is now really good friends with her. I really want to hang out with Shannon again but she is always with Katie (Now I don’t want to be misconstrued she can be friends with who ever she wants) but I never know what to saw  to Katie because she always has this very menacing face and I can’t compose and sentence that she will be interested in. I would just like to know what I should talk to her about and what conversational topic she would be interested in. Also if INTJS like us INFPS.

Sorry that this was more me seeking advice then me asking a question.

Sofia V.N.

Since I don’t know Katie, I have no idea what topics of conversation she would be interested in regardless of whether she’s an INTJ or not. MBTI type does not dictate a person’s hobbies or interests. It merely influences how their thought process works.

Do all INTJs like all INFPs? No.

Do some INTJs dislike INFPs? Yes.

Do some INTJs love INFPs? Yes.

There are plenty of INFPs that I enjoy being around, and there are also a fair number that I can’t stand. In my experiences, it really depends on the relative maturity of each of the people in question.

Am I a Feminist?

Sassyfeminist asked: Would you consider yourself a feminist?

Hmmm… Do I believe in equality of the sexes? Now that’s a really tough question. I’ll have to think really hard about it and eventually come to the same opinion I had before I thought about it.

Of course I’m a feminist. Just because I’m biologically male doesn’t mean I can’t support women’s rights.

For my German readers, does anyone find it horrifyingly sad that all three of the lead female characters in Generation War/Unsere Müter, Unsere Väter get raped by the end of the series with no consequences to any of the men who rape them?