Si users – How to talk to INxJs

Itae asked: In your latest posts, and comments beneath them, the problem of Si vs Se communication has been brought up. As an INxJ-surrounded INFP (dancing on the edge of Fi-Si loop for most of my life) I want to ask you for some sort of advice. How do I effectively talk about past with INxJs? Somewhere in the comments it’s been mentioned that Ni users always have to adapt their communication style to Si users, not vice versa, and that’s pretty unfair. ;)

I now feel properly guilty for having never expected to get a question like this. I compliment your open-mindedness.

First, I do think it worth mentioning that because INxJs are Ni I dominant, we tend to think about the past in relation to the future and present. Experience can influence how accurate intuition can be, meaning that the more we’ve seen a pattern of events play out repeatedly in life, the more likely our Ni is going to pick up on and predict outcomes in the present and future.

This can mean that INxJs who have Anxiety or PTSD get caught in cycles of being afraid that negative events of the past are also going to happen in the future. However—under actually dangerous circumstances, that same trait can save our lives (it certainly has for me).

All that said, there are a couple ways you could approach talking to us about the past. You could engage us in a conversation about patterns of human behavior. Get me talking about the way history repeats itself and you’ve got a conversation that I’ll be hooked on for (sometimes for hours). This could also be a conversation about how we think people today will behave based on what we know about the past.

I also recommend allowing INxJs to share their (sometimes socially deviant) opinions about the past without judging them. One thing that always puts me off talking to some (not all) Si users is when they correct me on the socially traditional or generally accepted way of viewing things. What they often fail to realize is that I’m perfectly aware of what most people think about X topic and have thought through why I think what I do. Hear us out before you shut us down. Let us be outliers and we’re more likely to actually share our opinions with you.

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