INFJ Male vs Female

“In an earlier post you said that INFJ females are more common than INFJ males. How come you’ve only typed INFJ males?”

INFJ is the rarest MBTI type for male identifying persons, so part of that has to do with popular media and canonical characterization. I mean, think about it, what does every teenage girl say she wants in a guy? She wants a guy who’s sweet and can admit that he feels something, so naturally, the people who create the media exploit that fact so that people will love their characters.

It’s a basic marketing stratagem –figure out what people want and give it to them. They buy your product, you profit, they get a thrill. Everyone’s happy.

I suppose mass media consumers aren’t interested in a female who can empathise to a deep level, but a male who can do the same thing is considered an attractive anomaly. Meanwhile, female INTJs are considered an anomaly that you run away from.  With regards to why all of the real people categorised INFJs are males, this is all I got for you:

11 thoughts on “INFJ Male vs Female

      • You’re probably right . . . female INTJs seem to freak everyone out to such an extent that almost no author is willing to touch them.

        On the subject of INFJs, have you ever read any of the Father Brown mystery stories? I was completely obsessed by them as a teenager–and I have since wondered whether Father Brown could have been an INFJ as well. I’d have to re-read them to be certain, though.


        • They’re quite good, both as stories and as mysteries. Father Brown always fascinated me because of his method of solving crimes through empathy–that is, through imagining/visualizing what the suspect’s feelings might have been, in order to decide how likely it was that they’d commit that particular crime. I think I liked it because it seemed to me like something I *could* do if I worked at it hard enough . . . whereas I knew I could never be Sherlock Holmes even if I tried really hard.

          But yeah, Father Brown was a huge influence on me as a kid. If I had to pick one fictional character that I really wanted (and still want) to be more like, it would definitely be Father Brown.


        • From what I remember about Father Brown, INFJ seems probable. (Although Chesterton had an extremely Ne-influenced writing style, and his characters tend to reflect that, even if they aren’t Ne-doms themselves.)


        • That makes sense . . . I’m not very good at recognizing authors’ types through their writing, so I couldn’t have told you whether Chesterton himself used Ne or Ni.

          I do remember that Gabriel Syme, from “The Man Who Was Thursday,” seemed VERY like an Ne-dom.


  1. I think I am also an INFJ and a male one at that.

    I guess I have trouble identifying female INFJs as well, and they might look/act different than a male on perhaps. Softer attitude perhaps.

    I believe Helga character in this video might be an INFJ, and she’s with a character named Floki, who I guess is an ENTP.

    However, at first I though she was an INFP yet she’s somehow grown on me? She acts quite empathic in the clip, and is even Fe-manipulative as you put it I guess.


    • Haha I am sort of the opposite of you! I identify as female INFJ and I am curious to know how real-life male INFJs are because I haven’t seemed to recognise one or even had the luck to meet one.

      (disclaimer: I may say I am an INFJ but I could never be sure. Though, at the same time I am certain there is no other type to match the way my brain works. So the following is just a general description of me. Of course, every indivisual is different.Even though, I hope you can get some insight on how female INFJs can be.)

      I am no sweet unicorn like most people believe female INFJs to be.Sure I can be sweet and caring on the first meeting, following the norms and saying whatever the other party wants to hear but that is until i decide what kind of person the other party is. In that way, I can be selfish and violate personal space if I am interested in the person’s character or ingnore/avoid that person completely if I don’t like him.

      First of all, I lack in confidence and maturity. Then, I can be a cold-blooded b*tch whenever I snap. There is a reason behind every snap but generaly I am easy to get angry at someone when they disappoint me, so i prefer to go away or stay silent spacing out with a death stare full of internalized anger than argue with them because i feel awful afterwards no matter wo was right or wrong in the first place. Even more troubling is the fact that i don’t recognise I am angry until I seriously get down and analyze it in isolation.

      Well generally I am quite talkative and many people think I am an extrovert but i don’t really think so ( my Ni is way stronger than my Fe). I don’t really like interacting with people or at least I don’t want to engage in small-tall. It tires me out instantly. Then again, most of the time i prefer to draw manga at the corner of the room than talk with someone. May the odds be forever in your favour.

      An INFJ don’t stand out much until that person talks. When I open my mouth either a jumble of words come out where you can’t understand what I am saying because I am talking too quietly and fast or something very deep comes out that again most people can’t understand unless there is someone else with dom or aux Ni in the room.

      People of the same personality type can be different but try to find people you can connect with instinctively.Those most likely will be INTJs ENTJs and ENFJs and INFJs who have dominant Ni. From these, look for the completely odd ones. These people will most likely be either an INTJ or INFJ. From there you just observe. Actually observe from the very begining. INFJs are social chameleon after all. Some can take the form of an ENFP or even an ESTP.

      Sorry for the long essay but i hope it helped a little. I’d love to read how a male INFJ acts from your perspective!



Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s