5 Ways I Don’t Fit INFP Stereotypes

Guest Post by Alyssa, INFP

I have always been a very self-aware individual. I know my strengths, weaknesses, emotions and thought processes extremely well, and I’m comfortable with who I am. I already KNOW that I’m a walking paradox. I’m a dreamer and yet I’m practical, I’m creative yet analytical, I love art and excel creatively, but I’m also a maths genius. I’m social yet shy, hard-working but a procrastinator, and organized but messy. There has never been a doubt that I am very much an INFP; however, these little contradictions between me and a stereotypical INFP used to concern me. This was before I realized that MBTI is about the way in which we think, not our personalities. Every person is going to have contradictions and conflicting qualities or tendencies, and that’s okay! That’s what makes us unique and human!

That being said, here are five ways in which I do NOT fit the INFP stereotype (in contrast to the many, many ways in which I do).

ISTJs Put Simply

Guest post by Sylver, ISTP

In my project to make known the good and bad sides of every MBTI type, it’s been suggested that I start with ISTJs. A lot of people, even if they don’t say negative things outright, will ignore or turn up their noses at ISTJs online. Also, as it’s been pointed out, many ISTJs will take and retake the test until they get something other than ISTJ, just because of the stigmas attached to ISTJ-ness.

Part of this has to do with the (mis)conceptions about their type that I will debunk here. Please note, of course, that some of the things I will say may not ring true for every single ISTJ out there. Most are based on knowledge of their functions and personal experience. So do feel free to correct me if I’m wrong; most of this is just stuff that I have observed/experienced when dealing with ISTJs.

ISTJs (USUALLY) are:

  • rooted in the past
  • down to earth
  • planers
  • possessed with incredible follow-through
  • caring
  • dutiful

ISTJs are NOT (usually):

  • stubborn for no reason
  • whiny
  • OCD
  • rule-obsessed
  • socially awkward (any more than other types can be)
  • Or, of course…evil

So without further ado, let me expand on how ISTJs work function-wise. My personal favourite thing about them, for a start, is their rich and vivid memories. I experience life through my Ti and Se (Dom and aux respectively), and though I can often remember things I’ve learned for a long time afterwards I have great difficulty remembering the actual experience because I’m instinctively keyed into the present moment. Always moving on, as it were. As Si-doms, ISTJs often have incredible recall of past events. My Mother, for example, is most likely an ISTJ, and whenever I have trouble recalling an old event I’ll call her up and she’ll readily remind me about what happened.

Si-doms are typically great sources of do’s and don’ts, especially the older ones. Any artist/writer/screenwriter/painter should be able to appreciate the opportunities that come with all those memories and stories. Provided, of course, you’re respectful and the ISTJ in question is willing to chat about things that may or may not bring back intense memories.

The ISTJ’s auxiliary function is, of course, Te. This gives them a natural edge when it comes to managing and coordinating, which I appreciate a lot. When it comes to larger projects ISTJs are pro at making sure they (fairly) divvy up the workload. They also––sorry, Arvid––tend to have an advantage, even over INTJs, when it comes to making sure that no details get overlooked. That’s not to say that INTJs don’t also do everything they can to make sure that their project turns out just the way they visualize it. ISTJs are just more naturally detail-oriented.

Fi is a function that…well, it doesn’t seem to get the right type of love in the MBTI community. By that, I mean that people––especially on tumblr––tend to value/admire Fi for the rebelliousness that ALL Fi users exhibit. /sarcasm/

I really like mature Fi users, don’t get me wrong. They know what they’re feeling and, especially in the case of Fi users who also use Te, will do their best to communicate what they need. That’s a genuinely valuable ability. I always appreciate my Mom’s way of telling me things, for example. I’m not hugely touchy-feely, and she isn’t either, so when she needed alone time she would just say something along the lines of, ‘I’m getting a beer, then I’m going upstairs to read. You need anything?’

That right there is the heart of how an ISTJ cares for their people. Making sure they’re okay by doing what they need to do to help. As an action-oriented person I sure as hell appreciate that.

Finally, there’s that inferior Ne. It bears talking about, as does any other type’s inferior function. We all need to know our weaknesses or we’d all crumble from clay feet, a friend of mine once put it.

An ISTJ’s Ne isn’t going to be all that plain. As with INTJs and Se or ISTPs and Fe, it’ll sorta be in the background, still utilized but typically unnoticed. When it does come to the forefront (so to speak) due to stress, it often trips up the ISTJ in question. They begin to catastrophize and freak out about all the things that could happen; during times like these, they focus almost exclusively on the negative outcomes and need a helping hand/mind to get back on track.

Like any instance where an inferior function crops up in this way, an ISTJ’s inferior Ne can be extremely annoying for both them and for others. Part of the package, though.

Besides, a healthy and mature ISTJ can make the most of their Ne’s idiosyncrasies. My dear friend, for example, will usually be the first person to get on my tuchus about things I’ve been unable to get to (read: procrastinated), yet she’ll also be perfectly willing to tag along with me to get lunch out or go to Half-Price Books together. Provided we’ve got ourselves in order, of course.

Overall, ISTJs can be a little stubborn, but they can also be the wisest, fairest, and most trustworthy people you’ve ever met. They may not be the most popular or ‘romantic’ or ‘trendsetting’ of the MBTI types, yet that’s nothing to be ashamed of. If the entire human race were daredevil ISTPs like me, we wouldn’t have survived till now, I guarantee it.

Joking, of course. I’d like to think that ISTPs do have some modicum of self-control! :P

INTJs and Objective Judging

Catgyrl asked: ENFP here! I feel guilty for judging other people and it seems like INTJs don’t feel that way. You probably have some long thought process about this and I’d love to hear it. Sorry if that’s not really a question :)

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First of all, judgement is a necessary action for those of us who have any of intentions of helping or getting to know our friends. It also serves to protect us against people who would hurt or use us, but judgement is more than people make it out to be. The type of judgement that popular culture and religious organizations encourage us to refrain from is what I would like to call unrighteous judgement. And it’s true that type of judgement can be extremely hurtful, so it’s not only wise but important for our ethical well-being.

Judgement is not so narrow a field, however, that it does not also include a spectrum of righteous judgement, and as someone with an INTJ personality, this just so happens to be somewhat of a strong point for me. I shall endeavour my best to explain the concept in such a way as to make it understandable and doable. Continue reading

Recognizing Unhealthy/Healthy Types

Grahamcracker asked: How would you identify when someone is unhealthy for their personality type?

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The tell-tale sign of an unhealthy type is that they will embody the stereotypes.

Well-developed thinking types will make decisions based on both logic and emotion and vice versa for feeling types. A healthy individual is well balanced between their four functions, relying on all of them interacting between one another to live their life.

Another classic tell is whether or not the person manipulates people. Unhealthy thinking types often disregard other people’s feelings and use “logic” or “just being honest” as an excuse for bad behaviour. Unfortunately, this means that thinking types can also be extremely good at gaslighting. Meanwhile, unhealthy feeling types often have a tendency to rely on emotional appeals such as guilting, projection, and triangulation, as a way to control other people’s behaviour. This is all stuff that any therapist will tell you is toxic (both for you and for other people).

Grahamcracker asked: And how would you know if someone was well-developed in all four?

Want to know how to find yourself a keeper? While I can’t guarantee you’ll cross paths or have success connecting with said keeper, I’ll offer a modicum of advice on how to identify healthy MBTI types.

First and foremost––this person does not manipulate people, especially not intentionally. Second, you’ll see them making decisions based on more than just logic, or emotion alone. They’ll use a balance of both. You see their better self, a healthy person who knows what is important, plays well with others, and is neither overly insecure or overly self-important. To be balanced, to make good decisions, and to be a good partner in a relationship, you need to be as emotionally healthy as possible, and that means using all your functions.

I’m tired so I will not go into these in-depth, but you can get the general gist by combining the cognitive functions that make up your type.

Healthy Fe-Ti: caring about other people’s feelings and preservation, while also being able to step back and analyze something objectively, to learn how it works so that you can improve your relationships.

Healthy Te-Fi: being motivated to organize things and adhere to logical principles, while being aware that politeness is a useful tool in life and that not everything needs to be said, while holding to a strong set of moral principles.

Healthy Ti-Fe: staying focused on logical objectives, but also softening one’s words to avoid hurting other people’s feelings or alienating others in attempt to work toward a greater purpose that benefits everyone.

Healthy Fi-Te: championing causes and inspiring others to follow your lead, while remaining true to your beliefs but also enabling others to have different values systems from your own, and organizing your time and space effectively to accomplish your goals.

Healthy Si-Ne: bring valuable information to the table through things you have learned and your own experiences, but accept that your memories are subjective interpretations of events and that considering new avenues of possibilities is not a threat to your usual routines.

Healthy Se-Ni: staying open to both participating in new experiences and helping others to see opportunities around them, while realizing that there is more to life than just this moment, and all actions in the present have future consequences.

Healthy Ne-Si: entertaining many possibilities but also remembering past experience, learning from the mistakes of others, and seeking out extensive details, so as to make wise decisions.

Healthy Ni-Se: visualizing goals and discerning how to reach them, while also being unafraid to take opportunities as they appear, thus avoiding staying too much inside the mind and seeing their ideas implemented in the real world.

How to Differentiate Between Judging/Perceiving, Introverted/Extroverted

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Meyers-Briggs is Rubbish, but Here’s Why You should Keep Using it

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ISTJ Stereotypes in “The Imitation Game”

ISTJ Stereotypes in

ISTJs are frequently stereotyped as whining, OCD, rule-obsessed intellectuals with no social skills. Either that, or they’re portrayed as evil, emotionless cyborgs with no sense of humour. As someone with a close ISTJ friend, I understand exactly how terrible those stereotypes can be on a person. Unfortunately, such stereotypes are ever present in the media, and have found their way needlessly into the recent film, The Imitation Game. Continue reading

On Differing from INTJ stereotypes

INTJ: How I Differ from the Stereotypes

Surely, you’ve looked at the personality description for your Meyers-Briggs type at one point and thought, “that’s not me. I don’t do those things.”

Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I can’t tell you how many times I look at the INTJ stereotypes and think to myself, “How can anyone assume that you must be exactly the same as all other people who share your type?” Continue reading