This post is dedicated to my readers that want to understand INTJs, but are less familiar with Jungian cognitive functions. I understand that the functions are difficult for newbies to navigate, so I’m making your life easier.
Fact #1 People empty us.
When I say this, I don’t mean that we don’t value human companionship. In fact, I would argue to the contrary. However, our introversion causes us to drain our energy as we attempt to socialize. Our energy stems from within ourselves rather than from being with other people. We value solitude, silence and thought.
To us, silence truly is golden.
As a result, parties are definitely not our favourite place to be and when forced to be in such an environment, we tend to stick to the sides of the room rather than gravitating toward the centre. We are extremely conscious of our personal space and absolutely hate being touched (in any way, shape or form) without our permission. Likewise, incessant noise drives us mad, prevents us from thinking and makes us want to scream at everybody to “shut up.”
We find it astounding that some people can manage to say the same thing three times in different words or that someone can fill an hour of time with words that mean nothing. We value conciseness when it comes to speaking, such that we say nothing more than what needs to be said (and sometimes we can’t even say that much).
Kerissa asked: Is this situation possible, or am I misreading myself? I think that I’m an INFJ, but that I rely on my Ti more than my Fe. I’m still fairly young and I read somewhere that Fe develops later than some other functions. All the tests type me as an INTJ, but I’m almost positive I use Ti and Fe. According to function stacks, I can’t use Ni as my dominant function and Ti as my second one, but that’s how I would think I think.
Always trust your self knowledge before you trust the test.
What you’re describing is a function loop, where you get stuck using either your two introverted functions or your two extraverted functions and neglect the other two. Stop doing that. It’s not good for you.
The best way to get out of it is to focus on using the two functions that you’re not using as much more often. This will help bring you into a more balanced state.
Pasa Fino asked: I have a question which regards Se in a social setting. (I am an INTJ btw). This and the other Se post were helpful in a general sense, but here is a problem I personally encounter.
Whenever I am around people I don’t know well or consider as a friend, I behave in the way I am most comfortable with: distant, observant, serious, quiet, etc.. but when I am with the few people I consider my friends my Se seems to take over my brain in a most distressing manner. I begin to goof off, talk loudly, I become quirky and playful, and overall, much unlike myself. I go home feeling like a total fool. The worst thing about it is that I have little to no control over this while it is happening.
Otherwise, I integrate my Se via art, music, karate, and watching comedies on YouTube, and can control it decently well when I am in my normal environment or interacting with friends over the internet.
I am in my late teens, so I am hoping that in my twenties my Se will be somewhat tamer. Has anyone else encountered this problem? If so, is there a solution for an immediate solution for it?
#1 Yes, many INTJs experiences this:
In order to illustrate to you and others, that discomfort with the Se function is not something that any of us are alone on, I’m going to share an experience that is deeply personal to me. This is not just for you, Pasa Fino (though it is for you), but for all the people out there who may be struggling to connect with the more frightening, more human parts of themselves. Continue reading
Katie asked: My sister and I are both ENTP’s, our parents are an ENFJ and and ISTP. I wonder if this is an argument for nurture over nature, have you come across many siblings of the same type?
Yes, it happens a lot more often than you’d think. I know a pair of identical twins who both have the same personality types, same major in college, and the same interests. The only reason I can tell them apart is because I’ve known one of them longer and as a result, she’s more comfortable around me. Continue reading
Bryony asked: I am an INTJ with an unhealthy Se function. Out of curiosity, is it possible to change this?
Yes it is.
I had a very unhealthy Se function at one point in my life –so unhealthy in fact, that I wasn’t using it at all (I’ll let your imagination fill in the connotations of that happenstance). Here are some tips for developing an unhealthy Se function. Continue reading
There is no defined route traveled by every traumatized individual, and variations range so widely even within the INTJ realm that all we can really observe are the patterns. Continue reading
“Can you develop all eight functions? If so, how would one go about doing that?”
That would be an excellent idea if you want to go nowhere in life.
I would not recommend trying to develop all eight functions, and here’s why.
You have four functions that you utilize on a regular basis, but occasionally, when you’re extremely stressed out, you can lapse into using all opposite functions (aka, your shadow functions). Continue reading
ENTP – Ne-Ti-Fe-Si
ENTJ – Te-Ni-Se-Fi
ENFJ – Fe-Ni-Se-Ti
ENFP – Ne-Fi-Te-Si Continue reading
Question: “I’ve heard that INTJs are really similar to asbies? is there a reason for that?”
Answer: First of all, your question (in its nature) is a bit offensive as far as people with Asperger’s syndrome go. However, as an INTJ who is not offended in the least at such a question, I find it a valid one. I myself have been perceived as an Aspie, but have been medically confirmed otherwise.
On a regular basis, I have to force myself to say “hello,” back to people when they greet me because it isn’t natural for me Continue reading