The INFJ Male Stereotype

Kathryn asked: I definitely would type myself as an INFJ, and I relate the best to that type. My problem is, almost all INFJs, as portrayed by movies, are male, and none of them ever get married. Why are INFJs always portrayed as single guys when really INFJs are mostly female and extremely relational? – also, What movies portray an INFJ female?

Men who are feeling, are frequently associated with femininity, and our modern societies look down on femininity. As a result, boys get taught at a young age that they should not express their feelings and that it’s shameful to do so (I think this problem is actually bigger in America than it is in the UK because a lot of Americans have commented to me that they think British men are more in touch with their “feminine sides,” however that’s another issue for another day).

The point is, our societies look at men who express their feelings as men who are missing something in their development, gay or potentially “broken” in some way or other. (Straight) women are more likely to be endeared to these types of men because they can connect on an emotional level, and for this very reason, there are a lot more INFJ males portrayed in film/media than you see in real life.

I think the fact that most of these characters fail at marriage/relationships has much to do with the fact that society has internalised this idea that men who express their feelings (or have deep feelings) are somehow broken.

For the answer to your last question, check the INFJ section of this site.

Thoughts, Minions?

4 thoughts on “The INFJ Male Stereotype

  1. In the anime Yugioh GX, there is a strong female character that I feel could be INFJ, she reminds me of some of my INFJ friends, but I could be wrong too.

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  2. I think Patricia (Janet Jackson) in “Why did I get married” is an INFJ. For one, she was the counselor of the lot. She was secretive, had a way with words and that (shocking) tantrum she threw at the end says it all.

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  3. Arvid!!! You’re back!

    At least for one post… It’s good to see you’re still alive :)

    Oh, and I definitely agree with your analysis ;)

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  4. “I think the fact that most of these characters fail at marriage/relationships has much to do with the fact that society has internalised this idea that men who express their feelings (or have deep feelings) are somehow broken.”

    I wish you were wrong, but I think you’re right… This is so depressing. Those who are in touch with their feelings are, in fact, emotionally intelligent and therefore *more* healthy than those who “bottle it up”. Yet society has the opposite dumb view.

    I despair :(

    (Female INFJ)

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