Terry asked: “I’m an ENTJ and I seem to hate all the other ENTJs that I meet. Is there a decent reason why I would hate my type?”
There are a number of reasons why you could hate your type.
#1 You subconsciously hate in others that which you hate in yourself.
I know two ENTJs who cannot stand to be in the same room with one another. Though different, they are very alike.
They both always have an agenda, always have to be doing something, and like to talk. They’re both ruthlessly rude towards other people, but don’t necessarily like it when other people are equally blunt. Thus…they hate talking to each other.
Neither thinks much about the feelings of the other, but is more concerned about how it’s not fair to themselves. They both feel no qualms about trying to manipulate people, but get mad when the other tries to manipulate them.
At the same time, neither of them is aware of why they hate the other because their egos are too important to them to ask whether they might be the one with the problem.
#2 All the other ENTJs you’ve met are incredibly unhealthy.
Both the ENTJs I mentioned above are good examples of unhealthy ENTJs. Neither of them have a well developed Fi, so they often clash over moral disagreements without being able to effectively point out what they find wrong about a situation.
You, on the other hand, might very easily be a healthy ENTJ. If all the other ENTJs you’ve met are like the two I’m thinking of, I don’t blame you at all for disliking them. (if you need examples of unhealthy, look back at #1).
In general, a good way to pick out an unhealthy person is to look for how closely they resemble their type’s stereotypes. If you are a healthy ENTJ and all the other ones you know are unhealthy, you’re going to hate them just because they resemble all the stereotypes that you don’t want to be associated with.
I once made the mistake of getting into a theological debate with an unhealthy INTJ I met online. Unfortunately, the other INTJ was so ridiculously arrogant that he ignored all my arguments because he had to be right. At that point, I dropped off the face of the planet.
Pay attention to which fictional ENTJs annoy you and look for how stereotypical they are. As an INTJ, I often get quite annoyed with Sherlock, Coriolanus and Thomas Barrow despite all the ways that I relate to them.
It’s also quite possible that you are also an unhealthy ENTJ (I don’t know you, so I can’t judge). If that’s the case, you would naturally hate other unhealthy ENTJs more than you would if you are a healthy ENTJ.
The reason for this is that you would #1 subconsciously hate the reflection of yourself that you see in them, and #2 want to compete with them. You’d end up stuck in a power struggle because both of you would want to be in charge, and dominant in the relationship.
#3 You’re not actually an ENTJ, but the opposite type.
It’s perfectly possible that you’ve misread yourself or been typed incorrectly, especially if you’re basing your type off online tests. If you’ve misunderstood yourself, and you’re actually an xNTP, it’s would perfectly normal to hate ENTJs.
Often, I find people being mistyped as their shadow because they took an online test while at a weak point in their life (besides, the tests get it wrong more often than you’d think).
As an INTJ, I cannot stand taking classes from xNTP teachers (despite the fact that I have several close xNTP friends).
If you’re actually an xNTP and you’ve mistyped yourself, ENTJs have all the opposite functions that you have. Thus, you would constantly be annoyed at how uptight, focused and task oriented ENTJs are.
For those readers who are not ENTJs, here’s the list of opposing types:
xNTJ / xNTP
xNFJ / xNFP
xSTJ / xSTP
xSFJ / xSFP
#4 You are an individual, not a caricature
Fun fact, you’re not going to be exactly like all other ENTJs just because you are one. You are a unique individual.
You are not a stereotype like many of the characters that pop up in fiction. You are a person.