Catgyrl asked: ENFP here! I feel guilty for judging other people and it seems like INTJs don’t feel that way. You probably have some long thought process about this and I’d love to hear it. Sorry if that’s not really a question :)

First of all, judgement is a necessary action for those of us who have any of intentions of helping or getting to know our friends. It also serves to protect us against people who would hurt or use us, but judgement is more than people make it out to be. The type of judgement that popular culture and religious organizations encourage us to refrain from is what I would like to call unrighteous judgement. And it’s true that type of judgement can be extremely hurtful, so it’s not only wise but important for our ethical well-being.

Judgement is not so narrow a field, however, that it does not also include a spectrum of righteous judgement, and as someone with an INTJ personality, this just so happens to be somewhat of a strong point for me. I shall endeavour my best to explain the concept in such a way as to make it understandable and doable.

Righteous judgement is the process of developing opinions about other people and their subsequent choices that is free of bias. It’s easy for us to believe that the righteous thing to do would be to simply not judge, but I’m here to argue that such is not the case. Judgement is something that people need to do in order to survive in this world. You have to make judgements about the people that you associate with so that you don’t find yourself in relationships that could be harmful to you or others.

In abuse situations (involving two partners), it is oftentimes the case that the abuse victim will choose to stay in an abusive relationship because he/she still has a deep love for their abuser and feels social pressure not to judge them for their shortcomings. There comes a point, however, when it would be better for both parties if one or the other is able to make an objective judgement that the situation is not beneficial to either of them.

The trick is making the judgement objective and not unrighteous, and as you likely know, many people find this extremely difficult to do. To illustrate why this is, I’ll give you a sliver of pie from the Meyer’s Briggs personality scale. In it, there exist 16 personality types, each consisting of four personality functions that dictate how individuals naturally respond to situations, take in information and analyze it.

First, I’ll explain the lucky exception to the rule that righteous judgement is hard: the INTJ (ironically, we also seem to divert from most other rules too).

The INTJ’s functions are as follows:

• Dominant –> introverted intuition (Ni)
• Auxiliary –> extraverted thinking (Te)
• Tertiary –> introverted Feeling (Fi)
• Inferior –> extraverted sensing (Se)

I show this simply to illustrate that each personality type has a dominant function that is different from the other types. ENFPs, for instance, happen to have similar functions as I do, but the orientation of their functions is reversed, ultimately resulting in our having completely different personal preferences and habits.

• Dominant –> extraverted intuition (Ne)
• Auxiliary –> introverted Feeling (Fi)
• Tertiary –> extraverted thinking (Te)
• Inferior –> introverted sensing (Si)

Now, I’ll explain how this relates to righteous judging. An ENFPs dominant and auxiliary functions (Intuition and Feeling) work together in such a way that ENFPs are naturally always taking in information from their immediate environment and situation and making near-instant judgments about it based on what they feel about it. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just the way their brains work.

The INTJ on the other hand has dominant and auxiliary functions in the thinking and intuitive fields, which lead us to analyze the information that we are presented with more depth, coming to conclusions objectively –without the input of our emotions. The result –I have the capacity to simultaneously dislike and love people because I see them for what they truly are, rather than solely what my emotions would have me believe. It allows me to realize that everyone –myself included– can be complete idiots at times and yet still be able to love them.

It’s quite a fascinating paradox.

So, if my ENFP associates are wondering why it seems easier for me to “not judge” other people than it is for them, that’s why. Our brains are wired differently. This isn’t to say that non-INTJs can’t also make use of righteous judgement. Just because you are born with certain weaknesses doesn’t mean that you can’t turn them into strengths. In fact, a lot of people

I’ll delve into some counterexamples here. The INTJ is notorious for being quite arrogant –if you’ve ever watched Sherlock, you will know exactly what I’m talking about (he’s an INTJ).  Fortunately, I don’t have a problem with this one because life challenges have humbled me, leaving me with a non-arrogant self-confidence. At least, that’s how I’ve recently been told it comes across in person.

Another thing that INTJs are particularly known for is being villains. They are always the villains that everyone loves in fiction because they’re highly intelligent and typically ten steps ahead of everyone else. This leaves all the INTJs in the audience of Star Trek: Into Darkness rooting for Khan (INTJ) and wishing that someone would just kill Captain Kirk (ESFP) already. It leaves us constantly wishing that Lex Luther (INTJ) could beat Superman (ESFJ).

However, just because my personality type is prone to this type of mentality doesn’t mean that I have to embrace it. In the end, you are not defined by your personality. You are defined by the choices you make, by your conscious efforts –not by the subconscious processes of your brain. Even though you may fall into perfect alignment with a specific personality type, you are who you choose to be.

Maybe you can’t eradicate your negative traits, but you can turn them on their heads and utilize them as strengths. I could easily be an evil genius who’s seeking to take over the world, but I choose not to be. I could also be an arrogant jerk like Sherlock (INTJ) or a cold, pompous offender like Mr. Darcy (INTJ).

Instead, I embrace the mentalities of the good INTJs, not the ones that have gone wrong.

Ender Wiggin is one such INTJ. He could easily be a cold-blooded killer if he chose to, but because of his strongly held moral code, he hates violence. I embrace the mentalities held by Steven Hawking (INTJ) and Nikola Tesla (INTJ), rather than choosing to say: “Oh, well I’m inherently prideful, so I can’t change,” or “I’m naturally antisocial, so I shouldn’t go out of my comfort zone by bothering to help other people.”

NO! If you think you can’t change, you’re wrong. Rationality is key here, but it is my personal belief that we have within us the capacity to be anyone or anything if we truly devote ourselves to that vision.

As humans, we like to understand things. In fact, our craving to understand can be a bit too much –to the point where many of us want to put a label on everything and everyone –that includes ourselves. We spend the majority of our lives trying to discover and define ourselves, and I’m not going to discredit that use of our energy. Defining ourselves is important, but we shouldn’t allow ourselves to be too easily defined.

Our constant search for self-discovery should be motivated not only by a desire to find out who we are and accept that but by a goal to root out our weakness and turn it into strength. Don’t ever let other people define you –EVER– because when you allow that, you are allowing someone else to dictate who you are. You will eventually become whatever it is that you believe you are, so never rely on other people’s judgment to tell you who you should be (that includes the system).

The people who are most successful at changing their weaknesses into strengths are those who know themselves, intimately, inside out. They are brutally honest with themselves and are on a constant quest to become better tomorrow than they are today. Their goal is not simply to understand themselves but to gain mastery over themselves.

Among my many favourite INTJ-stated quotes are these words: “Don’t make people into heroes. Heroes don’t exist, and if they did, I wouldn’t be one of them.”

We are not inherently heroes or villains in our own stories –that is unless we choose to perceive ourselves as one or the other. Heroes, (if we define a hero as a person who is inherently righteous) do not exist on this earth –they cannot because we all have a little bit of both good and evil hiding deep within us.

The thing about human nature is that people are consistently inconsistent in their ability to balance between the fight for truth and the natural man. We all do things that we regret, say things that hurt, offend and deface others. Then there are other times when we are incredible, on top of the world building others around us with the good that we do. Human imperfection is a beautiful inconsistency, and I don’t think anyone is inherently good or evil. It always comes down to what we choose to do with the flaws that we’re given. What we forget is that life isn’t about the hand we get dealt –it’s about the cards we feel comfortable playing.