Defying INTJ Stereotypes: Anon

Guest post by Anonymous, INTJ

 

I’m artistic.

To a fault, I admit. Ever since I was a child I’d either be playing mind-games or writing, drawing, or outwardly narrating a story. When I was in first to third grade, we had to keep journals. The teacher would put up a prompt (Ex: Do you have any pets?) and we had to write a few sentences about it. I thought this was boring, so I asked the teacher if I could just write, and she allowed me to. So, for the next three years, I would develop new little stories and illustrations to accompany them.

I was obsessed with drawing, back then, too. I’ve always been told I’m creative and a good artist, even though I’d like to think the comments didn’t affect me, I think they’re why I began to do it more often. That, or boredom. I still think it’s more of boredom. So, now I’m, as far as I’ve seen, the most experienced artist I know. I don’t even really like it. It’s passive. It just happens.

I have a large group of friends.

I think this mostly comes from my natural charm, somehow it makes people happy when the quiet, cynical girl decides to talk to them. So, I’m really bouncy in social situations. I’m the girl who’s flitting around talking to the people she likes the most- and adding into conversations to make people more lighthearted if the environment is too tense. I’m the joker. People hear my laugh maybe a little bit too much. So, then they associate me with a happy, lighthearted person. Which is a good thing in most cases.

Regardless, I still fit the stereotype of “small group of friends”, because if they were to ask me if I was their friend, I’d say no (with the exception of three people who are my friends).

I believe in self-sacrifice.

It’s a commonly known stereotype that INTJs are selfish, and while I’m not going to disagree to a point, it’s not completely true, in my case, at least.

I would gladly give up my life for other people. Not for the general populous, but for the people I call friends. And, no, it’s not for some over-arching mastermind plan. I’m not sacrificing myself to be a martyr. I’m just doing it out of habit. In my head, those people are more important to me than I am to myself. So, if I allowed them to die, the things they could’ve done in the world would haunt me. I’d miss them too much. I would first try to find a way out of both of our deaths, of course, but if it comes to it and my patience for seeing the person I love dying runs out, I’d sacrifice myself for them.

I express emotions.

Most importantly- I have emotions. (I hate this stereotype)

After I’ve heavily analyzed my emotions on a person or situation, and I believe it won’t change the situation negatively, I will express my emotions. It may be in a detached manner (because of Te), but it’s still there.

I’ll tell the person that they make me happy. I’ll tell them that I hate them. That I love them. That I’m apathetic towards them. I will say what I’m feeling. Because it’s important for people to know their standing. And, it’s important to me.

I’m impulsive.

My two best friends I hang out with most are an INTJ and an INFJ, so I guess I can’t really call it all that impulsive, because they are little worry-warts. But, if someone mentions something they want to experience that they’ve never done, I’ll find a way to make it happen. It’s four AM and you’ve never jumped off of a bridge? My internal monologue: Are there any bridges around? How much force does it take to cause damage to a person’s body? How tall can a bridge be until it goes over the limit of force? Can they swim? Is there even water underneath the nearby bridge? Is it within reasonable walking distance? What are the dangers of being out at night? Do I have my pepper-spray, do I even know how to defend myself if someone attacks us? Do I have enough medical knowledge to patch someone up if something goes wrong? Do we have bathing suits with us?

If it meets those requirements to my liking, I’ll do it. I’ll make it happen. Let’s go, right now. Because, though I would never outwardly say it, it’s exhilarating to do things like that. It’s distracting. Which means I’m a lot more Se than I admit.

I don’t plan or manipulate people often.

There’re always those posts and things that say “I plan every move in my day. If I say something to you, it’s because I’m manipulating you. ~Mysterious INTJ”

I don’t relate to this at all. It makes it seem like I have every second of every day and every possible outcome accounted for, which is impossible (as far as I know. Maybe up to an extent if you’re a savant?). Sure, I get up and say, “Remember to get your socks, your phone, and your Physics notes, put on deodorant, get dressed, wash your face, ect.” When it’s the morning. But, that’s only because I’m not very awake and my Te takes over.

When it comes to actual situations, though, and I’m not asleep, I don’t do much planning. I take things in stride. I’m not constantly in a hum-drum of “Left foot, right foot, left”. I’m usually imagining inconsequential things. Like, if that tree could breathe, how would that effect the food chain? What would happen to their appearance? So, it’s not very mastermind-y. Just very useless.

I do go around thinking, “If I step here, set this here, he will trip, then he will call out, it will draw their attention, I can sneak away into the background and read.” Though, I barely ever act on those thoughts.

I do have a life-plan, like the stereotypical INTJ. But, unlike what a lot of things might tell you, we question everything (Feel free to take it out if my assumptions here are wrong, they sometimes are.), including the things we like to do. Is it superficial? Do I actually like to do this, or am I telling myself this? So we tend to plan and re-plan. And go into crises. And to overanalyze. And that makes us uncertain about a lot of things, including the plan we set up for ourselves.

I’ve dated people without thinking about marrying them.

Again, with the stereotype that INTJ females don’t exist or are too outwardly rude to get a date (which, again, goes into the “women are only useful if they are pretty and can produce offspring” kind of early evolutionary-day thinking). Also comes with the things I’ve seen where INTJs don’t want to date because they don’t see themselves marrying the person.

I’ve made many friends of both genders, and my male friends have asked me out before. Whenever I’m answering, I usually say yes. My reasoning for it is because I’m young. I should gather some data on this before it actually effects my future (like, before I’m at the age the significant other actually considers marriage).

I also think dating people helps you develop your understanding of the human psyche, and I always seem to convince myself it will help me develop my Fi (which is a bitch to develop, by the way). So, I’ve had romantic relationships with many people.

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5 thoughts on “Defying INTJ Stereotypes: Anon

  1. Do you hate people being your business, or the thought of people making you justify your decisions? I’m curious as to how the INTJ reacts to other people being controlling. I’m an ENFP, and it drives me crazy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. that sounds very like me although I’m not sure if I’m an INTJ due to all that planning (I have general plans but for example I struggle with a regular learning etc.)

    Like

  3. May it be related to the gender? I have read that some female INTJs do feel identified by the stereotypes, but it caught my attention that a fellow female felt the same way I do.

    I also hate the having-no-emotions stereotype. Obviously, our emotions get filtered by our rationality, but it doesn’t mean we do not feel. It does not mean we are not capable of loving: we have friends and family. Actually, I would say we love the few significant people we have more intensely because we put conscious effort on making them know they are special. We do not assume they know just. We make them feel it. At least I do.

    Like

  4. This bit sums up my life, basically:
    “I do have a life-plan… But, unlike what a lot of things might tell you, we question everything …, including the things we like to do. Is it superficial? Do I actually like to do this, or am I telling myself this? So we tend to plan and re-plan. And go into crises. And to overanalyze. And that makes us uncertain about a lot of things, including the plan we set up for ourselves.”

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This post reminds me a lot of my INTJ sister. She’s very artistic, and very social (far more social than me, the INFJ, actually); but she’s still definitely an INTJ–Ni/Te/Fi/Se. She just doesn’t fit all the stereotypes.

    Like

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