Gender Fluid INTJs

natalia.manzano asked: I am a gender fluid person. Sometimes I feel more like I am male, sometimes more like I am a female. Same person but different approaches to life. It is like I can be an INTJ woman or a INFJ man which is kind of confusing for people who meet me and just pay attention at the way I look, like a “normal” extroverted (can fake it) woman. Is it possible to be two different MBTI types depending on your gender drive?

It just so happens you’re in luck, because I also identify as gender fluid. Most days I wake up in the morning feeling androgynously between genders and other days I wake up feeling distinctly masculine or femme.

I understand just as well as you how confusing gender fluidity can be when presented to cis people, and keep in mind that everyone will have different reactions to it (whether you’re out or not).

I (for some odd reason) have a study group that constantly complements me on my both my gender fluid clothing choices and on my INTJ traits. I was very surprised the first few times it happened, but now I’m just enjoying it.

Other people will –you guessed it– freak out internally and not know how to react to your gender presentation, and that’s just something you get used to. Some of the dancers I’ve met at Lindy Hop events won’t dance with me because they’re convinced I’m gay (a choice which is pathetic on their part), but I deal with it because it’s what I’ve always done.

Even some of my blog readers have gotten confused about what gender I am and asked for clarification in past comments. Some were fully convinced I was female, while other were fully convinced that I was male.

My advice:

This is just my personal experience, but regardless of my gender identity, I always feel and reason as an INTJ would.

However, at one point I did experience the same questions you’ve just asked me. I was confused by the INFJ man / INTJ woman complex that you’ve just described. Be aware that gender fluidity isn’t associated with personality changes generally. However, it’s easy to fall prey (when you’re fluid) to the stereotypes of both INTJ and INFJ in combination with society’s stereotypes about gender.

For instance, it’s often easier to associate F types as females and T types as males –which is an absolutely irrational thing to do considering the evidence. To avoid this conundrum, I’d suggest reading my INTJ vs INFJ post (if you haven’t already) and considering objectively how your thought process works.

I might even suggest making a chart and re-typing yourself each time you fluctuate between identifying more as male, female or other. Like so:

Date Gender MBTI
10/27/11 M
10/28/11 F
10/29/11 NA

If possible, don’t type yourself via any online tests, but using your understanding of the Jungian cognitive functions. Be as objective as you can. Consider not how you appear to others, but how your thought process is working and how you naturally respond to changing situations and people.

Further questions? Ask below.

12 thoughts on “Gender Fluid INTJs

  1. Interesting. Do you find that xSFJs (with their combo of Si and Fe) may be more likely to try hard to conform to traditional gender roles? And as a result, some SFJ men may come across as very masculine?


  2. I have lost count how many times I got mistaken as a lesbian in my whole life simply because I am an INTJ XD. People assume that I am, based on my clothing preferences and how I am less emotional compared to other girls; why I don’t scream “AHHHH!!! So Handsome!” To popular male stars and how the sound of make up makes me cringe.

    When I was little, I often found myself debating with my aunt and mom since I refuse to play girly toys or wear girly clothes. I don’t really bother with them, I just like what I like; wear what I wear specifically. Good thing, these had stopped now after they knew I am in a relationship with an INFP male (which is often mistaken as gay by people).


  3. Olá. Eu sou INTJ, também sou gênero fluido. O interessante para eu querer comentar aqui (inclusive em português, desculpa) é que eu tenho alguns transtornos psicológicos. Isso não tem a ver com o gênero fluido em questão, mas com a personalidade MBTI. Por vezes eu sinto algumas coisas como ENTJ e a maioria das vezes/coisas como INTJ. Eu achei interessante abordar o fato de que transtornos psicológicos podem afetar sua personalidade MBTI. Porém me sinto muito mais confortável quando meu INTJ comanda as ações. Provavelmente se eu fosse completamente saudável, seria INTJ sem influência E.
    Oh, e eu tenho síndrome dos ovários policísticos. Isso quer dizer que tenho um nível mais alto de testosterona que a maioria das mulheres, mas isso é só mais um dado sem importância, só por curiosidade.


    • Portuguese. Exciting.

      Interesting perspective. I don’t know whether or not polycystic ovary syndrome has an effect on personality, as I’m not overly familiar with the syndrome. But that would definitely be interesting to research at some point.


  4. I find this interesting because there was a point in my life where I also defined as gender fluid. However, I didn’t question cognitive functionality outside of the major depressive stints I had (where I thought that maybe I was an INFJ instead of INTJ, but I later abolished that theory with introspection and asking lots of questions.)

    Now, I’m in a state of being agender, mostly because I’ve observed that I don’t actively attempt to conform to gender roles or expressions. I don’t feel like either gender now as opposed to when, depending on the day, I felt more male or female.

    During those times, however, I did notice people expect more Te-traits when I expressed as male and Fe-traits when I expressed as female, whether they knew me or not, and regardless to the fact that I completely lack the Fe function and all the comes with it.


    • “mostly because I’ve observed that I don’t actively attempt to conform to gender roles or expressions”
      This is a strange idea to me. I don’t actively attempt to conform to female gender roles or expressions, yet I know I am female. I am not aware of any conformity attempts within my behavior — I just be myself. Are there people who…do try to conform in this way? Who do feel the need to “act like a girl”? I suppose if they were insecure…


      • You insult a boy by calling him a girl and you insult girls by telling them they look like their brothers. Does this not strike others as a sociological conformity?


      • Participating in gender-normative expression is part of conformity in which one dresses and acts a certain way because they are male or female. This isn’t so much that the person is actively trying to be perceived a certain way (like drag kings and queens or other performers), but that since the person is a certain gender, they tend to conform to roles and expressions within that gender rather than go against them.

        In my case, I don’t shop by gender. I don’t approach other people with the idea that they even see me as a certain gender. I don’t socialize with gendered behavior or aspects. I barely pay attention to gender normative constructs when they’re supposed to apply to me. What that means is that I don’t “act like a guy/girl” because I don’t even consider myself as such. This perspective has lead me walking into the “wrong” bathroom a few times (pointed out by peers), not because I thought, “I’m male/female, so I should use this bathroom,” but because I had to use the bathroom and whatever bathroom was closest was the one I began walking into, regardless of whatever label was printed on the door.

        Also, what A said.


    • Hello! I may be misunderstanding your point, but would like to point out that male/female/intersex typically refers to sex, which is distinct from gender, which is usually described as woman/man/other. Personality is theoretically unconnected to either of these categories, but according to some social research cultural ideas about sex and gender affect how people perceive their personality or learn what is socially acceptable for their sex/gender. I totally agree with on this: women are expected to be more emotional and men are expected to be more rational. They are even taught to be this way. These expectations can affect how people behave, but as for how they affect personality I would ask what the balance of influence is between nature and nurture.


  5. Lately I’ve been questioning my type this way, although I identify myself as an INTJ, there’s still the possibility I’m INFJ, I’m reading as much as I can about the functions so I have a deeper insight about both types so I can type myself correctly. I’ve never identified myself as a female but I do have certain feminin vibe so I come as androgynous to some people I am close too (which is irrelevant, but it’s just a coincidence I wanted to point out)… I really enjoy reading this blog…

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