Surely, you’ve looked at the personality description for your Meyers-Briggs type at one point and thought, “that’s not me. I don’t do those things.”
Well, guess what? You’re not alone. I can’t tell you how many times I look at the INTJ stereotypes and think to myself, “How can anyone assume that you must be exactly the same as all other people who share your type?”
The reality is, no two people, regardless of personality type, can ever call themselves the same. Here’s how I differ from the INTJ stereotypes.
I’m an artist.
I can spend hours drawing and painting to my heart’s content, and have been able to do so all my life. I value both function and aesthetic in things that I buy, and have a little bit of difficulty understanding how some people can be apathetic towards art…
But then I have to remember how infinite the list of things I am apathetic towards runs.
I love to swing dance.
I’ve always been passionate about classical music and jazz (okay, that fits the stereotype), but my Se also likes to dance –and old fashioned dance. For an INTJ, I tend to be a bit antiquated in my tastes (which tends to be more stereotypical of Si users).
But then, Steven Hawking loved to swing dance as well.
However, even while the interest itself doesn’t fit the stereotype at all, my motivations are strictly INTJ. A lot of people start dancing to…you know…meet people so they can date. I however, don’t date, so I always end up feeling bad for dance partners that find out my interest in them is rigidly platonic.
I don’t play chess.
As a 7 year old, I did convince my Dad to teach me how to play chess, but after a while, I developed other interests, and haven’t really returned to chess since.
I do, however, like to play strategy games –and, probably my favourite board game of all is Mastermind….(yeah, I know…so INTJ).
I also like word games, but I don’t like to play them conventionally. Banana grams is all about finding the biggest word, rather than finishing the fastest.
Usually, this ends in the other players forcing me to look up five syllable words in the dictionary to prove they actually exist.
I was really surprised…last time I played, they didn’t believe “quietus” was a real word…
But then… every time I call my Dad, we each give each other a “word of the day.” The last one I gave him was “pulchritudinous.”
I’m religious
I believe in God, both spiritually and philosophically. I considered atheism at one point, but eventually determined that it was too simple. If life has no meaning, I would not be asking whether it had one.
I am a philosophy minor, (english major with two minors, yes) and in my last philosophy course, we had a huge class debate over the existence of God (dividing the class between theists and atheists. I won it, with an ontological argument for God.
The more the class tried to argue that God didn’t exist, the more they ended up backing up my claims. Hilariously, the professor spent the entire period casting knowing glances in my direction whenever I had to suppress a laugh at the ludicrousy of some of the arguments that came up.
By the way, please do not attempt to debate theology in the comments. This is hardly the time or place.
I can be incredibly kind – sort of.
I believe in being genuinely sincere in everything that I do. If I don’t like someone, I don’t pretend to, but if I care about someone, I make sure to let them know.
However, I do so in…a very INTJ way, typically not through ways that are generally expected in a quality friend. My idea of sincerity does not necessarily match other people’s conception of it. I probably won’t ever return your texts or phone calls, and I may not even acknowledge your existence when we’re apart.
However, once you are my friend, I will always be your friend, regardless of whether you continue to be mine. Furthermore, I will always be honest (bluntly so), which, if you get to know me well enough, won’t bother you.
If it still bothers you, you don’t know me, and you are like this poor ENFP, who is mysteriously drawn to the INTJ for reasons not understood by either party.
ME: *says something sardonic*
ENFP: I feel betrayed
ME: …
ENFP: Now I have to find some way to offend you so we’re even.
ME: You know what this tells me about you?
ENFP: What? That I’m mad at you?
ME: No, that your love is conditional.
ENFP: And yours isn’t?
ME: There are three people in the world who have the power to offend me, and you are not one of them.
ENFP: So I could sell your soul to the devil and you’d still be my friend?
ME: Pretty much.
ENFP: Aww! I just want to hug you!
ME: *scoots away from ENFP*
I suppose you could say that while I’m not nice, I’m kind. I don’t fake good manners, but I also refuse not to care about people. Honesty is far more important to me than any pretence of niceness.
It’s called emotional maturity.
When it comes to people who don’t know me very well, I do tend to act just like a stereotypical INTJ –blunt, sardonic, evasive and rude. The poor chauvinists in this world get this side of me particularly badly.
I don’t manipulate people
Unlike the INTJ villains typically associated with INTJ stereotypes, I don’t like to manipulate people. I can be very good at it when I need to be, but I also think it’s wrong under most circumstances, so I refrain from doing it unless something worse will happen if I don’t.
I don’t ever want to be manipulated myself, so I don’t do it to others. ENTJs seem to think they can manipulate me, but they always get incredibly frustrated when they fail. Then, I just sit back and laugh at their attempts…
I don’t like Maths
I was always good at maths, but I never liked it. I finished my college level maths requirements when I was 16 and determined never to take a maths class again.
That wasn’t actually the last time maths popped up in my education, however, I’m happy to say that I haven’t taken a maths class since. The only thing that can make me want to do maths is cosmology and astrophysics.
Like so.
Actually, also –music is basically sensual maths if you think about it (classical music and jazz, that is), so I suppose…my prior statement is more inclusive than I thought.
The Book Addict's Guide to MBTI: 
Another female INTJ here that doesn’t fit the stereotype.
As a matter of fact, I saw myself more INFJ (although what all the tests said- that was INTJ over and over) until I learned more about functions. I’m also a dancer (I’ve study ballet, and now that Ive read more about this, I find it pretty INTJ in fact).
I’m good at maths and at chess, but I’ve never really enjoyed them as I enjoy “artistic/verbal” activities (Apart from ballet, I also play the piano and love writing and languages- english is not my native tongue, as you’ve probably guess by some mistakes I’m making), so I just left maths/computer science etc apart because It felt like a waste of precious time I could be employing on improving things I’m better at and that I also enjoy. Also, i’m a huge Risk lover, always will prefer it instead of chess haha
I share with you the disgust for manipulation, Im pretty loyal and, like you, I have this kind of friendships where I don’t phone call or speak through messages unless there is a reason to but you can take my love for granted forever, although we have’t spoken in months-that’s usually the case with my best friend, who lives in another country. That said, if one of these few persons betray my trust, I would probably begin to act as if they dont exist for me anymore (the betrayal must be VERY serious and once I’ve thought about it and made my decision I won’t forgive it). I feel identified with what you say about few people able to offend you. In my case, just my parents, husband and three/four friends.
And finally, I do cry with some movies. Usually with epic movies, when the hero does something heroic or someone wins something he had work very hard for- for example, I didn’t cry with the Notebook (I find it quite uncomfortable, in fact) but I crie-A LOT- with The imitation game, when they finally solve the code.
I love your work, so useful, thank you for this blog.
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