It’s not uncommon that people of different MBTI types consider the others selfish. Extraverted Feelers (Fe-users) often see Introverted Feelers (Fi-users) as selfish, and vice versa.
Fe-users look at Fi-users and seeing them more in tune with themselves than others, perceive this as selfishness. Fi-users look at the Fe tendency to go with the crowd and perceive them as fakes.
If both were to cry in a movie, Fe-users are more likely to do so out of a connection to universal emotion. An Fi-user on the other hand, only cries in a movie if he has specific, shared experience with the characters or events in the movie.
Neither is truly more selfish than the other, because all people are selfish in their own unique ways. Here are some examples of how selfishness would show up in each type.
Keep in mind that these don’t necessarily apply to everyone who uses a specific feeling function. Both Fi and Fe users are capable of exhibiting the each of the behaviours exhibited below. When it comes down to it, selfishness doesn’t come through only on the basis of your feeling function. You have to use multiple functions to even exhibit any of the behaviours listed below, so take this for what it’s worth.
Ways selfishness manifests in Fi
- “Your feelings don’t matter to me. I don’t care if you get hurt just so long as I get what I want.”
- “Everything is my fault. I will wallow in my sorrow because I can’t do anything right.”
- “Nothing is my fault. I will blame all my problems on everyone else and then cry about how they don’t like me.”
- “Stop whining about your problems. My problems are just as bad, and do you hear me whining?”
- “I will take everything you say as a personal attack.”
- “I break your rules just because you told me to follow them.”
- “I can’t share with you. It’s mine. Mine, you hear?”
- “I am right. You will accept my opinion as fact, or we cannot be friends.”
- “I will manipulate you with subtle threats in order to get what I want.”
- “You will do everything MY way, or we’re not friends.”
Ways selfishness manifests in Fe
- “If I have pain, everyone should have pain.”
- “I’m going to be warm and friendly towards you until I get what I want. Then I will stab you in the back.”
- “If you’re suffering, I blame you for your problem.”
- “If you can’t tell me how you feel, you must not love me.”
- “I’m angry at you and want to hurt you. I will use your feelings to manipulate you.”
- “Pity me! Or I will talk your ear off about how awful my life is for the rest of the day.”
- “If you wouldn’t be willing to sacrifice yourself to save the planet, you’re a bad person.”
- “You’re entitled to your own opinions until those opinions aren’t offensive to anyone.”
- “I like to laugh at the pain of others.”
- “Your sense of morality is different than the norm? You are a bad person.”