Question: “I’ve heard that INTJs are really similar to asbies? is there a reason for that?”
Answer: First of all, your question (in its nature) is a bit offensive as far as people with Asperger’s syndrome go. However, as an INTJ who is not offended in the least at such a question, I find it a valid one. I myself have been perceived as an Aspie, but have been medically confirmed otherwise.
On a regular basis, I have to force myself to say “hello,” back to people when they greet me because it isn’t natural for me to do so. To be completely honest, the only reason I’m aware of “manners,” is because my parents expected me to use them as a child (they were both Si-users).
The INTJ’s tertiary introverted feeling (Fi) makes it more difficult for use to recognize social norms on our own –especially when the Fi is relatively undeveloped. My Fi is extremely well developed, but I still have problems with this, because another thing Fi does (in the INTJ especially) is make us turned off by tradition, conformity and sameness of any sort.
I don’t like to clap for performances, sing happy birthday (or have it sung to me) and I’d rather have a sandwich on Christmas Eve than the typical feast. I discovered Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Self-reliance at age fifteen and never went back. End of story.
Tertiary Fi also makes it difficult for us to recognize what is deemed as “appropriate” by society (and we’re unlikely to care once we figure it out). When/if I ever text, my texts are factual, to the point and don’t include anything I feel is unnecessary.
As a result, I often end up asking a question, getting an answer and the conversation ending right there –no good byes or explanations. None of that unless I’m extremely close to the person I’m texting (in which case I care about their emotional response to my text).Most of the time, I don’t even text people back. psst* I hate my phone.
As an INTJ matures, his/her Fi will develop and strengthen, working with their Ni, so that they are able to pick up on societal cues not by connecting with people, but by recognizing “patterns.” This is the point I’m at.
INTJs are often very antisocial for several reasons. Inferior Se causes us to be overstimulated by noise, people and chaos in our external environments. We lose a lot of energy by spending time with people (which also means that if we’re taking the time to do it, we really love you).
Also, many INTJs, myself included, often either have a very low sex-drive, or little to no interest in dating or romantic relationships (likely because of our auxiliary Te – inferior Se combo).
PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THIS IS NOT A BLANKET STATEMENT, AND DOES NOT INCLUDE ALL (OR EVEN MOST) INTJS.
Dominant Ni makes us quick to point out problems, but because it’s hard for us to know what’s societally appropriate, we end up offending people even though our intents are completely innocent and instinctual.
For instance, my natural instinct is to argue with people about facts –they say something about history, and if they get it wrong, my natural desire is to jump in and correct them. I also have the tendency to correct people’s grammar, but once I learned that this was “rude” I tried to stop doing it.
I couldn’t. I had to, and it had nothing to do with having a need to be “right.” It’s more that Ni has a need to search for the absolute truth in everything. We want the argument to be right, not us. So eventually, I found ways to still correct people –just without their noticing. That way my Ni was happy and their feelings weren’t hurt.
Another similarity is that our NiTe combination makes it so that when it comes to interests, INTJs are either obsessive, or completely disinterested.
We are capable of devoting our entire day to a project rather than interacting with people or surfing the internet. I’ve gone through so many obsessive phases that I can’t even name them all, but the most obvious one is writing.
- I keep three blogs and a private journal
- I’m a full time English Major
- I started writing novels when I was 9
- Published my first story at age 15
- I spend the summer inside writing (rather than doing whatever it is normal people do)
- I’m subsequently obsessed with Shakespeare
I think a lot of this perception also has to do with the social stigma that surounds certain hobbies. For instance, people think it’s weird that INTJs can devote 8 hours to watching documentaries about science, but it’s considered perfectly normal for someone else to watch 8 hours sensational television. As thirteen year olds, my church associates would get up in the morning and watch cartoons while eating breakfast. I got up every morning to read NASA’s news page.
They thought that was weird. I thought the same of them.
INTJs don’t usually take the traits that we discussed above to the extremes that Aspies do. You could say, in a sense that we have mild similarities to Aspies –enough that we’re capable of covering up our weirdness to a certain extent…sort of… but that we don’t suffer from autism.
Also, Aspies also carry with them a myriad of traits that are completely opposite from the traits of INTJs. For example, Aspies tend to be a great deal more impulsive than the plan-oriented than INTJs. Aspies are also very likely to think that random acquaintances are their friends, whereas an INTJ will be more likely to assume that no one (other than a select group of people) is their friend.
What you need to remember is that INTJ is a personality type that describes how a person’s thought process works. Aspergers Syndrome is a condition, not a personality definition. One could easily argue that people with Aspergers Syndrome display traits common to most of the MBTI types, however, you’ve got to remember that those people with Aspergers Syndrome also have a personality of their own.
Think about some of the characters that I’ve typed that suffer from mental illnesses –I always make a note beforehand that points out their illness and consider that extensively in my analysis, both trying to separate it from their personality, and trying to use it to help me pin-point their traits.